how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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