Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
