try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
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