he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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