Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
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