you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
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