I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
