Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize