why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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