No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
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