New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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