You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
