worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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