Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
