Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
