oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
