mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize