Buhtt sex?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
