We're like a lot better than the average bears
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
