you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Who died my cat blue again?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
