Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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