the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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