my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
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i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
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he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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