someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize