Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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