Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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