She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
