As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
