Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
