community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
