I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
She announced her abortion via fbk
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
