Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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