we have officially lost it.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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