it was like fucking gandolphs beard
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize