No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
sick fucks of a feather flock together
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I can't turn off my feet"
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
