My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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