Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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