im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
