oh god the rape fog is back!
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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