Your face is a jimmy john
Life is so much better after having sex.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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