cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
