shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
