I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
