Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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