The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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