Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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