pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Holy shit dude........stairs
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
