Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
