I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize