I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
