sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
