You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
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