i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
