The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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