and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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