I want to stick my p in your. b.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
