He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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