I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
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I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
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She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Is this like a preordered booty call?
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