i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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