I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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