They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
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