you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
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