i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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