I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Randomize
