You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
