so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
