Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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