YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
