worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
