Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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