i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
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Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Randomize