Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
