Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
