Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You need Xanax blowdarts
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
