Those balls look pretty dangerous.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
