I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
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